Have you seen my most recent post Doppelganger?
As you age, you will, slowly but inexorably, give up one thing after another. Things you did, things you enjoyed, things that gave your life purpose and meaning.
My mother is 94. Until she was 89, she worked part-time as a tour guide and drove (locally). She finally had to quit working because of poor hearing and increased difficulty navigating stairs. She voluntarily quit driving when she noticed she could not turn her head rapidly enough.
She probably had the beginnings of mild dementia a few years ago, but recently it has gotten markedly worse. During my last visit, we spoke of the distant past, and suddenly I realized that all the things she once loved are now denied her:
- She used to travel and spend hours in museums and art galleries.
- She used to throw big, elegant cocktail parties.
- She used to have the whole family over for Thanksgiving.
- She used to visit friends, but all of them have died.
- She used to go to the opera and the symphony.
- She used to take long walks on the beach and around the neighborhood.
All right, you might say. Can’t someone find things to do at home? Sure…
- She used to read voraciously but had to quit due to eyestrain and macular degeneration.
- She used to listen to classical music, but now she’s 90% deaf, and hearing aids are useless.
- She used to write, but no longer has the energy or concentration to do so.
- She used to paint, but now she can’t hold the implements.
- Even television is no longer much fun. She can’t hear it, and most of the current shows have little or no appeal to her. Reading the closed captioning is tiring and difficult.
Although she is generally healthy (no cancer, diabetes, or heart, lung, or liver trouble), she suffers from Sjögren’s, an autoimmune disorder that has destroyed her sense of taste. She can’t enjoy any kind of food, not even the dark chocolate she used to be so fond of.
No wonder old people are often so miserable and crotchety. I’ll be sixty in a couple of weeks, and I can see the beginning of the first act. I no longer travel much. I don’t go out much apart from work, grocery shopping, etc. Due to eye trouble, I had to give up camping and swimming. I haven’t gone skiing in so long that it would be dangerous to take it up now. But I can still ice-skate and knock out sixty pushups.
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